In college and in my twenties, I measured my own growth against the women around me. As I’ve grown more confident and taken on leadership roles, my question has changed: How can I help another woman grow—and even thrive? That shift is why I’ve been thinking so much about the power of women lifting one another up. When I witness it, it’s truly inspiring.
Two women, in very different parts of my life, truly stand out with how they elevate the women around them. They have inspired me and have helped me understand what lifting other women up can look like in practice.
These stories matter enough to me that I dream of sharing them on a TEDx stage someday, inspiring other women to lift up the women around them. For now, this blog is my stage.
Story 1:
For years, I’ve attended the same Saturday morning class at a dance aerobics fitness center where I’ve been a member for about 15 years. The center is an important part of my life: I attend most days, loved the program enough to become an instructor at one point, and met two of my closest adult girlfriends there. Many women I once knew only as acquaintances are now friends I spend time with outside class. Returning to that Saturday class over the years has also given me time to observe how one instructor lifts up the women around her.
From the stage, she celebrates the women in class: someone who just published a book, earned a promotion, got married, had a child, or works full time while raising three children and still prioritizing fitness. She shares these accomplishments with everyone, giving each person a moment of recognition. Sometimes she brings someone on stage and says, “Look at her—doesn’t she move beautifully?” or “Hasn’t she gotten so strong?” She makes people laugh and feel good. And guess what? People love her. They want to talk with her after class, get to know her, and keep coming back because it feels good to be in her presence.
Her leadership shapes the culture of the room. There is silliness, permission to let loose and not take ourselves so seriously, and a sense of welcome that brings women back again and again. Making people feel good about themselves is both her gift and her intention.
What stays with me is the simple act of making someone else’s accomplishments visible. It reminds me that lifting someone up can begin with noticing and saying what we notice out loud. Maybe it goes back to a form of recognition is praising publicly.
Story 2:
About 10 years ago, I walked into a bathroom at work near my office, and I started chatting it up with a woman who had just come back to our company after being gone for a few years. I didn’t know her well when she was there before, but I had interacted with her a few times in meetings in which she struck me as a sophisticated, very well dressed, and experienced woman. I don’t remember what we chatted about that first day, but after that we chatted a lot in my office. She was just getting back into the work and wasn’t quite busy yet, so I invited her to work with me on a few things. I started relying on collaborating and found that she often was talking me up, nudging me to speak up, to raise my hand to take on more innovative work. What had started as me opening my door to her became her lifting me up while also taking me under her wing. We worked very closely for at least a year before she took another role within the organization, which meant we weren’t collaborating every day. She had informally mentored me and before I knew it, I was getting promoted for a job I never even knew was possible.
In that experience, support became more than a kind word. It helped me use my voice and consider work I might not have reached for on my own. I had opened a door to collaboration; I hadn’t expected how much I would grow through it.
Beyond the lessons these two experiences taught me about lifting up the women around me, they made me appreciate the lasting relationships that can grow through support. Both women have many loyal friends in their lives, and I see that connection as a gift—not the reason to offer encouragement, but something worth cherishing.
These experiences have shaped me and solidified my shift in perspective from one of asking how I measure up to what I can do to lift someone else so they can move forward. For me, that is where this becomes a leadership practice of choosing an action that makes support tangible.
In my two most recent leadership roles, I’ve had the opportunity to develop a few of my direct reports. I focused on developing them and it became the best part of my job. I saw their potential and they were hungry to learn and grow. I’m no longer at that those organizations and neither are they but the friendships I have with them are still very much in tact. What a gift!
The lesson I’m carrying forward is this: whether support begins with recognition, a conversation, or an invitation to collaborate, I want to make it something I practice not simply something I admire. My hope is that the women I support will also pay it forward.
Who are the women in your life who lift other women up? What has their support meant to you and what is one thing you can do this week to pay it forward?
