The courage to say thank you
After sharing my daily gratitude ritual last week, I decided to take it one step further: instead of simply noting and reflecting upon my gratitude, I would share it with the person I appreciated. What a concept, right? Actually telling someone how much their words, actions, or presence have meant to me. It sounds simple, but I noticed myself hesitating. That made me curious. What was holding me back and what could I learn by facing it head-on?
Here are some of the reasons that surfaced for me:
- I don’t really know exactly what to say or how to word this
- I want to sound authentic and not over the top
- Is this too bold?
- What if they don’t respond? Respond negatively? Respond too briefly?
- What if they think I want something other than expressing my gratitude
If I were coaching someone else through these thoughts, I would ask, “What is the best thing that could happen?” Then I would ask, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” But the question that stayed with me was this: “What is at risk if you share your gratitude—and what is at risk if you don’t?”
As I answered my own questions, I realized I was making the moment far too much about me. Expressing gratitude is not about finding perfect words or receiving the response I hope for. It is about giving someone the gift of knowing they mattered. I can choose to offer that gift; I cannot control how they receive it.
Over the course of a week, I reached out to three people in my personal life and three people in my professional life. I had different levels of closeness with each person, and each had recently done something I appreciated. I felt vulnerable pressing send to several of them, but I reminded myself that the point was to make sure my gratitude did not remain unspoken.
Then the responses started coming in.
The three people in my personal life returned my message with love and appreciation. Their words reminded me that gratitude has a way of deepening a connection that already matters. Because these were personal relationships, reaching out felt easier.
The professional responses were different. One person replied within a day with a simple thank you. The other two responded almost immediately, sharing how great it was to hear from me, thanking me for reaching out, and sharing one thing happening in their own lives. Each response was different, yet each person now knew they had made a difference in my life. Two of the exchanges also reminded me that expressing gratitude can create space for a deeper, more reciprocal conversation.
Reaching out changed more than I expected. The hesitancy I felt beforehand faded, and each response reinforced the value of expressing gratitude. I also learned that telling someone they have made a difference can do more than acknowledge their impact, it can open the door to a reciprocal, meaningful conversation. I am committing to continuing this practice for another week to see what other observations or lessons emerge. In the meantime, I invite you to observe your reflections and actions around expressing gratitude.
Have you ever felt grateful for someone but hesitated to tell them? What held you back: the words, the vulnerability, or uncertainty about how they might respond?
This week, will you tell one person specifically why you are grateful for them? If you do, I’d love to hear what the experience was like for you before and after you delivered the message.
